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Hi Ladies, I am Briana's wife Brandi. Believe it or not, long before Briana and I met I had been doing makeovers for crossdessers. I had lived in New York and owned two very upscale beauty salons. My salons were even featured in Salon Magazine. I guess perhaps I had an entrepreneurial spirit even back then. We not only did hair, but did facials, artificial nails, pedicures, body wraps, massages and wedding parties.
Long before Crossdressing was commonly spoken about, I had crossdressers approach me and ask for assistance. Naturally they were shy and very self conscious but they wanted help. I began to do makeovers out of my home for crossdressers because that is where they felt most comfortable.
A few years later after I had sold the beauty shops I met Briana. It was a whirlwind romance and within a few months we knew we wanted to be married. At this time I had no hint that Briana was a crossdresser and I had never mentioned to her that I used to do makeovers on crossdressers. Briana just knew that I had quite an array of close friends who were gay or bisexual.
Briana and I married and moved to Columbus, Ohio and began our life together raising our combined children, three teenagers. We had been married barely two weeks when I discovered the crossdressing. Looking back now, I am glad that I had not only gotten a bit older but perhaps a bit seasoned and a bit wiser before I knew about Briana. I am definitely wiser when it comes to recognizing the importance of allowing myself and the people I love to be complete.
We realize that a lot of crossdressers feel they either cannot or will not tell their wives about their dressing. Briana knew she wanted to tell me about the dressing and she also had made the decision to do it. Problem was, she was afraid. She was afraid that she would scare me and might possibly lose me because of it. Thankfully things happened in a such a way that I stumbled across some things and asked for an explanation. Briana told me that she was a crossdresser and we began a journey from that moment on. I am not going to pretend that it was a mild, wonderful journey for both of us all the time because it was not. We had to do a lot of talking, a lot of work, learn about consideration and require ourselves to be more honest than we had ever been in our lives. Whether you have told your wife, fiancée, girlfriend or significant other about your crossdressing or not, I know you have times when you wonder "What if"....
Finding out that your best friend and lover is a crossdresser is a shock. Up until a few years ago, if someone said the word "crossdresser" The image that would pop into your head was a guy who liked to wear women's panties. It was not common knowledge that most crossdressers like to fully dress. Even though I had done crossdresser makeovers over fifteen years ago, it never occurred to me when Briana confessed that she actually fully dressed. I loved her dearly and once she had made it clear to me that her dressing was complete including wig, makeup, undies, heels and outerclothing and realized that I had to learn more about it.
If your wife loves you and you tell her, the first thing she will do is ask you, "Are you gay?", "Are you bisexual?" and then she will begin to ask all kinds of questions about why you do it, when have you been doing it, have you been doing it with other people, does anyone else know about it, when did all of this start? From a wife's point of view, let me tell you that it is absolutely crucial that you answer the questions as honestly as you can and in complete sentences. I know, you have kept it a secret for years and talking about it in the open does not feel normal. If you love your wife and you want to stop denying an important part of yourself, you will force yourself and learn how to talk about it and answer questions in complete sentences. If you hold back, give one or two word answers or repeatedly say "I don't know", more than likely your wife will think you have only told her the tip of the iceberg, she will think there is more to come, in fact LOTS more to come.
These are some of the things she is going to do either with you or when she is alone, she is going to cry, she is going to struggle with this information alone, unable to talk to a friend, her mother or anyone else about it. This means that the moments when she is rational, she will talk to you. The moments when she is stressed and upset, she is going to talk to you. Who else can she speak to? Who else would you want her to speak to ? When she makes the decision to understand and accept, she will more than likely begin reading everything she can get her hands on that pertains to Crossdressing. Most of what she will read will be clinical type books.
With your relentless assistance things will get better if you both want it to get better. Realize that outwardly accepting it and proclaiming her love for you is not going to be enough for either of you. The road to acceptance and joy will be ever evolving. I remember the first few months of my seeing Briana. Keep in mind I helped her dressed, fixed her wig and did her makeup and we went out to clubs and dinner together. As accepting as all of that seems, I remember struggling as I gulped glasses of wine in a restaurant, trying desperately to see my husband somewhere in that mass of makeup, hair and jewelry. I honestly did not feel I could see him. I even convinced myself that Briana was not him, that Briana was some form of a multiple personality that he had.
Eventually things got much better. Our life together includes crossdressing and lots of other things. To be honest and open with each other about everything we do is the foundation for understanding and acceptance from both of us. We have definitely had our rough moments. I will share a couple of those situations with you in hopes that it may in some way guide you and give you some insight should you ever need it.
A couple of years ago, I began to enter menopause. I had always made jokes saying, I couldn't wait for it. I was wrong. For me, menopause was and still continues to be a highly emotional roller coaster. As far as I am concerned, an important part of my body, the part of me that defines myself as a woman is dying. It is actually dying. I went through a rough time when I felt I was losing my value as a woman, my femininity and my sexual desirability. All of a sudden, I gained twenty five pounds, had to use facial hair remover twice a month instead of once every six weeks, the dye in my hair was only lasting a month instead of the typical three months, my skin got dry as a desert for no reason at all and hormones caused me to burst into tears at the drop of a pin. Hell, I might as well have been pregnant for all the hormone jumps I had.
During this time I began to resent the fact that I was experiencing the crappiest part of being a woman and Briana, for all her talk about liking to feel like a woman got to have all the good stuff without the crap. It began to irritate the heck out of me that my husband could walk into our bedroom and an hour later come out as Briana. Briana has better legs than I could have ever hoped for, she can dress sexy and slutty and pull it off beautifully. Even worse, the next day I picked up all the clothes she left thrown around in our room, put away the wigs she left on the dresser, tripped over the heels she left on the floor and tried squeezing the last of my foundation out of the bottle because Briana had used it all.
At the height of a hormone rush I finally exploded and told Briana how this made me feel. Poor Briana had no idea that her dressing was effecting me in this manner. Without further incident we were able to work it out. Briana had to become more considerate of me when I was feeling low. Just as I had to be more open with her and let her know that I was experiencing the hormone rushes and that they were causing me to feel low.
Probably more important than anything else in this bio I would like to speak about the importance of being honest with your mate after you have asked her to share the crossdressing. If you wife thinks you are being up front and honest with her and that you include her in the crossdressing, don't screw it up by doing something stupid on line. So many crossdressers reduce the standards of who they are and what role crossdressing plays in their lives when they are on line. Some feel compelled to talk trash when it is not their nature to do such things. Some crossdressers will say and do the most bazaar things on line just to get affirmations about how they look or for the opportunity to speak to other crossdressers.
My husband is first and foremost my husband, the leader of this family, father of our children and a heterosexual christian man who happens to also be a crossdresser. No matter what my husband is doing I expect him to conduct himself within the standards we hold for each other, our children and ourselves. If you suddenly behave badly online or behave in a manner that is not reflective of who you are, your wife is going to wonder, "What the Hell is going on". This will be nothing more than a huge kick in the teeth for her if she has worked hard to accept the dressing and adjust your lives to include the dressing.
How did we become CROSSDRESSER ACADEMY? Now that Briana and I have found our comfort zone with the crossdressing, we want to do something that will impact positively on a Crossdressers life. Briana remembers well how it felt to not know how to apply her makeup or how to style her wig. She also remembers how much money she spent on cosmetics that were not the right color or the right product for her skin. She remembers thinking that she was not passable, yet she wanted to be. She also wanted to feel confident enough to go out to a transgender club where she could be accepted and meet other crossdressers.
Together Briana and I made the decision to do something positive for other crossdressers. We truly wanted to lessen the number of years it takes for a crossdresser to feel accepted and confident about her looks. We also want you ladies to know that there are a lot of ladies out there who are just like you.
